Peaceful Foundations

You’ve probably heard the phrase “United we stand, divided we fall,” somewhere, at some time in your life. That phrase couldn’t be truer than at home. The things that divide can be pervasive, sometimes subtle and require mindfulness and being present to rise above it. We can shield ourselves and our families from most of these things through finding balance. Through our work, we have met couples whose lives seem to be drudgery, they feel like they are exhausted butlers for little people. Some couples may admit that what they felt for each other and about themselves is a fleeting memory as they grind away at one busy day after another. We often hear about how challenging finding the right work/life balance can be. We can’t spend our attention fully in one place without it waning somewhere else. It’s like those Mario games where when you look at the ghost it stays still but when you look away it creeps towards you. When things start to go off kilter, we can very much ask our...

On a quiet Saturday afternoon at a mall restaurant, we observed two children with their grandparents. During the entire meal, each child wore headphones as they played games on a tablet. I’m not sure how old they were perhaps under 10 years old. Neither of them looked up from their devices and the grandparents looked lost, confused and very much isolated. They couldn’t even peel their eyes away to look at their food. We see children often, who are literally plugged into the Matrix now, missing out on the world around them. By plugging in they are not settling into their bodies or being aware of how their bodies feel. Years ago, we were on a car trip and our son was embroiled in a handheld video game. When the battery died, he was in a panic, he had no idea he needed to go to the bathroom quite so bad. It was as if during the game he had unplugged himself from his body. It can be easy to simply demonize screen time and media usage. It’s so pervasive in our society that the idea...

When things feel like they are going to hell in a hand basket, it might feel like it is all about Johnny's 10th tantrum for today, I will bet you it isn't.  Things don't happen in a vacuum.  Johnny's tantrum is likely the after effect of something else. If things are truly going to hell in a hand basket then I bet there are a lot of things that feel off.   I like to do a little check in and really take a look at how our family rhythm is going. Family rhythm?  What in the heck is that?  Rhythm is often confused with schedule, and while they can look similar, rhythm is a bit different.  Rhythm flows like a river.  It flows around stones and boulders and might even meet a delta, but it flows.  Schedule is more like something that floats down that river.  If you don't pay attention to the bends in the river then the schedule can feel like it is screeching to a giant halt and everything is just plain off.  Rhythm has to be tended and...